Black holes
No.12, on the way to Mountbatten Swimming Complex
Some days I feel like I’m looking through a thousand tiny black holes that cloud my vision and give me headaches. It makes me irritable; I wasn't up to taking on the world today.The weather is awful. I’m dropping everything that finds its way into my hands. My bus card has no money and so I had to get off the bus. I eat too much more than I can handle and it doesn’t feel too good. I miss Sydney terribly. I miss Gen. I miss cold winter mornings. I’m missing my morning quiet times. I’m missing God.I'm missing best friends who have gone, best friends I haven't seen for so long. I’m thinking about the way I want my life to be, which seems like an impossible dream. It bothers me that I haven’t found a job and that I’m allowing people to make me feel bad about that. I’m getting annoyed at all the little things that don’t matter. I know, I know. But I can’t help it. Or can I?
I need to be quiet and listen. I need to count my blessings. I need to remember that there are people in great need. I need to step into the right moments, look for the right things. I need to be grace-full and gracious. I need to remember to be good to myself. I need to just be again.
Labels: An old life.
posted by raggedee_ann at 1:32 AM
1 Comments:
hugs darling. i guess it's not always easy to see the good things in life, when things get us down at times. i'm glad for all that you're learnt, and for the hugely positive way you look at stuff nowadays. it's been an inspiration for me in my dark dark times. thank you.
for all the times you feel like you can't hack it on your own, remember this: you've friends who love you for who you are, and we'll be around. :) hugs.
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